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paroles > nofx
> pump up the valuum
(2000)
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AND
NOW FOR SOMETHING COMPLETELY
SIMILAR
Hello, Welcome
our CD
Can you hear the blatant
similarity
To Linoleum and Shadows of
Defeat
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TAKE
TWO PLACEBOS AND CALL ME
LAME
Can't you see
my soul worn on the second
sleeve
It's going up for sale as soon as
it gets saved
Interrogation blues, once again I
lose
You don't get
to magnify my insecurities
You don't get to site and save my
unhip-ocracies
Not for sale
Take two
placebos then you can call me
lame
walk some in my shoes then tell
me to fuck off
My oversized hat won't fit your
humongous head
I'll trade a
hundred days for one inside of
you
Take me to a
cave, where I can't be seen
Solace makes the heart, pump
adrenaline
I'm sick of being used, time and
again betrayed
Give a man a
key, he cannot not open the
door
Give him something free and he'll
sell it to the poor
C'est la vie
Take two
placebos then you can call me
lame
walk some in my shoes then tell
me that I'm fucked
My humongous hat won't fit your
gigantic head
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WHAT'S
THE MATTER WITH PARENTS
TODAY?
Mom and dad,
how'd ya get so rad, when exactly
did you get so hip
wearing teenage clothes you're
always coming to my shows
And telling me that I should
mellow out
It's absurd,
you're singing every word
You're not supposed to like my
bands, things I like you don't
understand
So please put down that rum and
coke, that's no behavior for old
folks
Dad and mom,
what planet are you from
And what convinced you to pack up
and leave
Doin drugs and asking me for
hugs, what's the matter with
parents today
Not again,
when will it end
Dads dressing like Motley Crue
and why is moms hair dyed bright
blue
There staying out till 2 or 3 and
then having sex publicly
I thought the apple fell far from
the tree
Mom and dad I
think you ought, to quit smoking
so much pot
And hanging with my friends
Laying round on the couch, with
my Misfits records out
Softly banging their
heads
Maybe it's
just a passing phase
what's the matter with my parents
these days
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DINOSAURS
WILL DIE
This is not a
test on the emergency broadcast
system
This is the real thing
Sit back watch
it crumble, see the drowning
watch the fall
I feel just terrible about it,
that's sarcasm, let it burn
I'm gonna make at toast when it
falls apart
I'm gonna raise my glass abuv my
heart
Then someone shouts that's what
they get!
For all the years of hit and run
for all the piss broke bands on
VH one
where did all their money go
don't we all know
Parasitic music industry as it
destroys itself
we'll show them how it's supposed
to be
Music written
from devotion not ambithicin, not
for fame
Zero people are exploited there
are no tricks up or sleeve
were gonna fight against the mass
appeal
were gonna kill the seven record
deal
Make records that have more then
one good song
The dinosaurs will slowly die and
I do believe no one will cry
I'm just fucking glad I'm gonna
be there to watch the fall
Prehistoric music industry three
feet in la brea tar
Extinction never felt so
good
If you think
anyone will feel badly you are
sadly mistaken
The time has come for evolution
fuck collusion kill the big
five
what ever happened to the
handshake whatever happened to
deals no one would
break whatever happened to
integrity
It's still there it always was
for playing music just
because
A million reasons why all
dinosaurs must (will)
die
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THANK
GOD IT'S MONDAY
I'm gonna tell
you what I really think I like
about Monday
Cause they fell like
Saturdays
when you don't have to go to
work, every day is a holiday
I wake up when I want to, I do
anything I wanna do
Can't wait for Tuesday
I really don't like Fridays I
can't do what I wanna do
Sold out at the movies, can't eat
at the restaurant
Everybody wants to party, but the
bar's full of cigarette smoke
I think I'll stay home, I think
I'll wait for Monday
I live a five
day weekend, I gotta year long
holiday
Thanks god it's Monday
The only place I gotta be is the
show or on the first tee
Thank god it's Monday
Never mind aggravation, just give
me modulation gimmie another
key
I'll tell you
why I like Tuesdays, cause
they're kinda like Christmas
Come to think about Wednesdays,
are a little like Hanakah
Thursdays thanksgiving, I'm
talking about good living
I think I'll give thanx
Thank god it's Monday
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CLAMS
HAVE FEELINGS TOO (ACTUALLY THEY
DON'T)
Birds are dumb
cause small bird brains
But so are kids and old
people
Some birds talk, most others
sing
I don't see you eating a talking
bird
Pigs smell bad
and roll in pooh
But so do kids and elderly
I don't see you chop of an old
man's feet
Put them in a mason jar and
pickle them
No chowder for
you, cause clams have feelings
too
Actually they don't have central
nervousness
No manhatten style, clams have
the right to smile
Come to thin about it they don't
have a face
They have no
face, no place for ears
There's no clam eyes to cry clam
tears
No spixal cord, they must get
bored
Might as well just put them out
of misery
Although the
world could be more selfish
I guess it's alright to eat
shellfish
No chowder for
you, cause clams have feelings
too
I could happen to you, clams have
feelings too
I don't think they do, clams have
feelings too
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LOUISE
She gotta
silicone cock sticking in her ass
and one in her cunt
A butterfly vibrator strapped
tight her clit
But who's got the remote
control
That would
belong to Louise
She's got a new pet a real
vaginal tease
You know that mummy's little girl
is not gonna do as she please
I she don't want to get a
spankin
She likes to
speak like a six year old
brat
Mommy discipline me cause you
know I've been bad
Start with a cat then she'll move
to a crop
Neither one is willing to
stop
She know that
girls just wanna have fun
with four piercings on each side
of her labia
A little luggage lock connecting
each one
Prevents her girl from goin
astray
Slut you think
you've seen your master mean
You better lick my puss and
asshole clean
Treat my clit like bubblegum
Bitch make me come
It's time for
bed she'll secure her head
Between her thighs for a thorough
night suck
Along with this she'll be
drinking her piss
So Louise don't have to get
up
Two goddesses
in love
One resides below one reigns from
above
One adorns cuffs while one covets
keys
The purgatorial touch of
Louise
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STRANGER
THAN FISHIN
Got a no
string guitar, got a sunn beta
head
I'm a rock N roll star
I ain't no musician some things
are stranger than
fishin
Got a beat on
a drum no how to sing outta
key
Got some illegal drugs
I ain't no musician some things
are stranger than
fishin
I know what I
I'm weight out another gram
Some of us have all the luck
No matter how much we fucking
suck
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PHARMACIST'S
DAUGHTER
Give her a
call for demorol and amal
nitrate
I tell her dad don't worry sir we
won't stay out late
I'm in love
with her, the pharmacist's
daughter
She's got my love, I get her
drugs
walking up in
the afternoon can't wait to see
her
Bringing in some colonopin, I'm
huffing ether
She's the one for me, without
personality, I still want to see
her every day
we got a date
and I can't wait to see my
baby
If I wine and dine her she just
might sedate me
She's so beautiful she keeps my
prescriptions full
She's got my love I get her
drugs
Looks like I've gone and bought
the pharmacy
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BOTTLES
TO THE GROUND
You know it
when it's over
Door are closing feel the sober
staring at you
You know you better take one more
good look
One more round
then it's bottles to the
ground
Smashing of the glass what a
super sonic sound
You gotta pull the plug when it's
time to die
whoa whoa whoa, bottles to the
ground
There's a
suitcase on the side walk
There's some records in a
milkcrate
She'll be staying
You'll be throwing whiskey over
one lip
One more round
then it's bottles to the
ground
Smashing of the glass a perfect
imperfect sound
You gotta pay the piper when the
rats are gone
whoa whoa whoa, bottles to the
ground
One more round
then it's bottles to the ground
x
14
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TOTAL
BUMMER
Go away sunny
day
All the horny people sitting in
front of their TV and
thinking
what is wrong with me I'm not a
monster
why won't anybody fuck me
I don't wanna live life
lonely
why does everyone have to be
perfect
Go away sunny
day
All the barflys sipping
whiskey
Fighting ever present pity
wondering what they are sucking
back for
Is it the drink or
trepidation
watching all trains leave the
station
Left standing alone without a
ticket
Go away sunny
day
Stop searching cause there's no
answer
Just a long line of disaster
There's no simple way to stop the
sadness
Life's not fair I'm glad it's
not
This isn't heaven just a lonely
planet
On the verge of self
destruction
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MY
VAGINA
My vagina has
two sets of lips, but I don't got
monthly blood drips
My vagina hardly even used
My vagina got lot's of extra
skin, they took my outtie and
made it an in
Turning donnie into Marie
Osmand
Operation
successful, but now I gotta pee
threw a miniature hole
Gotta remember to put the seat
down and when I wipe my ass
I go from front to back Cause I
don't want to get a bladder
infection
I never
thought I'd miss my vas
deferance
I trade it in for a par of huge
cans
Now I get to hang with
lesbians
Operation paid
up front
Now I show all my friend my new
designer cunt
They think I'm kinda weird but
that's ok with me
Cause now I kick their ass
playing from the ladies tee
There's nothing finer than having
a vagina
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HEROJUANA
Light the
match burn the flour
Leave behind all the wrong
why be sad when happiness can be
bought for a little more then
free
Modern day prohibition
Are we men, are we children
At what age can I choose how to
live
The only real
drug problem is scoring real good
drugs
Haven't we learned our lesson
The corner store sells the finest
scotch
But who's got uncut powder
we just want what is ours
dignity
If god created
plants and buds that I find and
abuse
Then who the fuck are you to
judge me?
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THEME
FROM A NOFX ALBUM
We're
professional punkers we come from
the suburbs
After 15 years we're still having
fun
Now we're over 30 not looking so
pretty at least we got a beat up
accordian
That's Erik our drummer his
father's a plumber
He drank enough booze to get
rhode island drunk
Now he's straight but smelly he's
got one big belly
From living the good life
provided by punk
Singin Singin
Singin
Buy me a becks beer or pass me a
bong
Gimmie some bushmills I'll sing
you this song
Open another big box of cheap
wine we're over 30 we're doin
just fine
El Hefe is not
satanic he's one hip hispanic
He grew up with one dozen cousins
and kin
He wears baggy pants he know how
to break dance
You've seen him do every
impersonation
That Melvin on six string some
tell me I can't sing
Oh I think you can just don't do
it round me
Stick with what you know
Playing guitar solo with hetson
and watt in punk rock
karaoke
Singin Singin
Singin
Buy me a becks beer or pass me a
bong
Gimmie some bushmills I'll sing
you this song
Open another big box of cheap
wine we're over 30 we're doin
just fine
My name is Fat
Mike I'm obsessed with big
lesbians
I've been a punk rocker for most
of my life
I sing kinda flat I'm not really
that fat
But that's how I hit them with a
hook or a slice
I'm Kent I do sound look his
getting so round
I'm Timmy the Turtle he counts as
he clicks
I'm Jay I don't care someone
please cut his hair
I'm Limo from Scotland so give me
haggis
Singin Singin
Singin
Buy me a becks beer or pass me a
bong
Gimmie some bushmills I'll sing
you this song
Open another big box of cheap
wine we're over 30 we're doin
just fine
Buy me a becks beer or pass me a
bong
Gimmie some bushmills I'll sing
you this song
we a quaalide or chop we a line
we're pushin 40 we're doin just
fine
Give me a
casual, pass me a bong
Give me Glen Lebbit I'll sing you
this song
Open another big box of cheap
wine
If you take the lower then I take
the high
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